These are all great things that I'm very excited about, but I think this post was important to write. It's a modified version of a letter I wrote to an anti-gay friend of mine. At least, I hope we're still friends.
For those of you who support LGBTQ+ rights, thank you. For those of you who, like me, are part of this group, congratulations! And be careful. There are a lot of angry, confused folks out there. For those of you who are part of the group that is lamenting the Supreme Court's decision about this issue, please read this. I'm not trying to change your mind, but I do want you to understand the effect your words have on people like me.
No matter where you land on this issue, please be kind to each other.
-----------
I wanted to send this to you personally, instead of posting it publicly. I'm not trying to embarrass or shame you, and there are a lot of people who have been ranting in your comment sections. When I started writing this note, I was angry. And I wanted to say some really hurtful things. But my mom taught me when I was little that anger is usually caused by feeling sad or hurt or some other negative emotion, and when that emotion is hard to deal with, you pick anger instead, because anger feels less vulnerable. That's true. I'm not angry with you; I'm sad. I'm hurt. And I understand if this is the point where you stop reading. That's totally up to you, but I wanted to give you the chance to understand why what you've said has affected me this way. I am a Christian, and I am a member of the LGBT+ community. And it is heartbreaking for me to see some of the posts you've been making this past week. I know you don't think these posts are personal attacks, but this issue is personal, no matter what side of it you're on. It's when things get "not personal," that you start dehumanizing groups of people. "Gays" are not some mysterious outside force attacking religion. We are people. Individuals. And I'd bet money you know more homosexuals than you realize. Statements like the ones you've been making are the reason why for the first 20+ years of my life, I didn't believe that God could ever really love me. Regardless of whether or not you believe God "loves gay people anyway," it is almost impossible to believe that there is a place for you in the church when people are constantly telling you that you're "wrong," "broken," a "sexual deviant."
All any of us want is to be able to live our lives in peace, and love the people we love. I hope someday you change your mind. I don't know that you will, and I can't ask you to. If I believed the same things you believe, I would probably react the same way to the decisions that have been made lately. I will say this though; please be careful about how you treat people, and how you talk about this issue. To someone like me, the way you throw your words around could mean the difference between seeing Christians as loving or hateful. It doesn't have to be LGBT+ vs. Christians. The two are not mutually exclusive. I know where I live now, they aren't. But not every young gay Christian is as lucky as I am, and I have seen a heartbreaking number of people walk away from the church because they can't change their orientation, and they don't think that God can love them anymore.
Please understand I am not angry with you. I just wanted you to be aware of how the things you say affect some people. It's a lot more hurtful than you think, and you're not convincing anyone not to be gay anymore, but you might be convincing them that the church is not for them. And I know that's not at all your goal.
I understand if you don't want to be my friend anymore, but please don't attack me for what I'm saying now. It came from a place of real vulnerability.
No comments:
Post a Comment